Guest post: By Stephanie Sanchez (http://heavenlyexchanges.blogspot.com)
After a grueling day, I met up with my parents for dinner. Nothing better than Mexican mole to make the day all better! Before leaving the restaurant, I excused myself to use the little girl’s room. While in the stall (you can keep reading… no TMI moments coming), I heard a commotion in the restroom. Two ladies were at the sink; One was crying and the other was trying to talk some sense to her. Of course I took the opportunity to listen in. Well… I really didn’t have any other options at this point. The conversation sounded something like this:
Girl One: **crying**
Girl Two: Mija, you need to be happy his @#$ is out of your life. You deserve better than that!
Girl One: I know **whimper**
Girl Two: Seriously! You don’t want anyone that you can’t be yourself around; someone that won’t accept you for who you are!
Girl One: I know, but it’s hard!
As I was listening in, I had a smile on my face. Not because I found this situation humorous in any way, but because it was as if I was listening in on a conversation between my sister and I about 8 months ago. I was on the outside looking in on my past. In that moment, I felt her pain. I felt the rejection, the doubt, the insecurity, and the anger.
I walked out of the stall and was heading to wash my hands! They were blocking the one sink, so I just stood there. The conversation continued for a few seconds. It paused for a few seconds only for Girl Two to look at me and ask me, “Right?” as if she needed some extra back up. I jumped in and said enthusiastically, “Yes! You have to love yourself first mama!” Girl Two then high-fived me (gross, I know). I washed my hands and left.
It’s only tonight that God brought to mind Abby. That’s Girl One’s name. My heart was saddened. I wish now in hindsight that I could go back to this afternoon’s situation and say more. I wish I could have spoken life into her. I wish I could’ve told her who she was. You see… in Psalms 139:14 the Bible says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This verse is a popular one, yet I don’t think we truly believe it. I know I didn’t until recently.
I lived a life where I apologized for who I was. I’m not talking about the things that God wants us to fine tune either. I literally would say I’m sorry when I cried. I would apologize for standing up for myself. I would apologize for my appearance. I reserved apologies for people that were only meant to be directed toward God in my prayers. I was extremely co-dependent. How everyone saw me was how I determined what to think of myself. I’d stay in relationships where I thought if I could only get better, then the relationship would be better! If the other person rejected me, I’d question what was wrong with me. I know in my heart that Abby believes this, too. I believe many, many others believe that too. They are ashamed or apologize for their talents, dreams, goals, desires, tears. You get it.
It angers me now that the devil has gotten so good at convincing us (especially woman) that how God created us is wrong or faulty. How wounded are we that we apologize for something that God declared is good? It hurts me to see my sisters try to change themselves into something that they were not created to be in order to please someone else. This goes for all relationships, not just romantic ones.
I wish I could tell Abby this…
- She was fearfully and wonderfully made.
- She is a wonderful work made in the image of the Creator.
- She is loved by God more than she can fathom, and that is where her security lies.
- Her beauty resides in that beautiful spirit of hers.
- She needs to be in a relationship with someone who sees her as God sees her.
- I wish I could tell her to be brave, and she will be ok.
- I wish I could point her head and heart upwards to God, so that she could bestow His beauty and see hers in return. Then and only then would man’s rejection not be so hard knowing that our Heavenly Father accepts us just as we are. Flaws and all.
So since I can’t tell Abby, I’ll tell you. I’m sure there is anAbby out there reading this. If you are, I dare you to be brave. Be brave enough to ask God to prove it. Prove that He made you fearfully and wonderfully. Dare Him to show you how much He loves you. Dare Him to show you just how beautiful you are to Him. Keep daring Him until He does it. Oh and He will! Just you wait! He’ll give you a Heavenly exchange. He’ll exchange your troubled thoughts for His pure ones. And when He does it, you will run away from anyone that doesn’t see you as the masterpiece that you are. I didn’t think I could do it, but I did. My life has changed, and so can yours. Be Brave, you’ll be ok.